Love will always blossom…

Hey everyone! Welcome to another edition of life and love in this day and age! Lol just kidding! We have yet to tackle this topic in the blog. So, I’m thinking maybe it’s time we do, no? I’m only going to talk about my experience because that is all I have any authority on, myself. Cool? Okay good let us begin!

My love life has been a bit of a rollercoaster truth be told. From years before to this year, I have had many ups and downs alike. Let’s go back to the start, no? It was around this time, a couple years ago actually. When the end of my marriage started taking place. I did everything I could, as best as I could, but in the end it ended anyway. I was heartbroken and on the verge of giving up. I didn’t though… Clearly. I’m still here alive and kicking. I know I shouldn’t joke, but it’s not a joke; I’m very grateful to be where I am today, and that I refused to give up. (So, please seek help if you feel this way, it’s not a good feeling to be holding. There is always help! Call or text the help hotline 988, you matter!) It was pretty bleak then, though; I lost what I thought was the love of my life then. So, I mean how could I carry on right? I lost the person I thought I’d grow old with. I didn’t know how to move on nor get myself ahead. I had sunk into an endless cavernous abyss of depression and negative thoughts that consumed my day to day. It was tough honestly, it still is (not because I’m still in love with her or anything, no. But I made some rather shitty decisions along the way. Falling into a black hole of debt, trying to fill that missing space I now carried.) No one’s fault but my own, I acknowledge that; I know I messed up, but slowly I’m bringing myself back up. Learning how to address those feelings that took me down the hole in the first place.

I also kind of set myself up for heart ache in the same sense. I know you’re probably like, “But Moises what ever could you mean?” Well… lol I thought I was ready to start dating again. But alas I wasn’t fully ready then. I got on dating apps and met different people. Look, in retrospect I probably should’ve just chilled out and worked on myself instead. I met and dated a wonderful woman that was full of life and love to give. I just wasn’t in a place to really reciprocate that to its fullest potential, if that makes any sense. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel love for her, because I did but it wasn’t enough, as terrible as that sounds. I just felt like I wasn’t in the right place to fully give her what she wanted from me.

I am grateful she came into my life at the time that she did though. Because of her I learned a lot of things I didn’t know before. About myself, about life in general and chasing my dreams. I know, I know as you’re reading this you are probably like BRUH… What the Hell?!? Look I feel terrible I couldn’t make it work, you know. But in my defense, the heart wants what the heart wants. And well here we are. I wish her the best of luck though. Hope she finds what she’s looking for. Love is complicated it requires patience and care. If you’re not ready it will drag you through the mud and make you hurt, even when you are the one to cause the hurt in the first place. I say that because it was me to end it, right? So, I caused that pain in her, not in a malicious sense mind you. (Ok, look I know I can’t minimize what I did, nor the pain she probably felt.) But I did care about her. Unfortunately, it just didn’t work out in the end.

"Love will prevail and continue to persist even when it feels it's amiss."- Moises Flores

Protect it, don’t seal it..

Love comes when you least expect it, from where you least expect it, as well. You could be in a bookstore looking for a new read or trying to find something to eat, and BAM! You meet the most amazing person that simply takes your breath away. The one person that literally sparks something inside of you that you have never felt before, and describing it is the hardest task. Because how can you describe love itself? Warm fuzzy feelings? Butterflies in your stomach? Ooey gooey tenderness? Or all of that and so much more? I’m inclined to believe that its all of that and anything else that I couldn’t think of as I write this. I mean how could it not be all of that? Love has its own dynamic that is vastly different for everyone. My love is going to be different than your love. I don’t think anyone’s love is ever alike, even when they may seem similar, they are not. And there is nothing wrong with that. I mean how boring would it be if all the love out there in the world was exactly the same? That would be rather boring and predictable, I know I wouldn’t want that, would you?

It’s a genuine risk that you take when you find someone that makes you feel this way. Because there is always a chance at heart ache or the inverse, you find your person, the one that you were meant for; the one that was meant for you! I would much rather take my chances, than live with the regret of not knowing if they were meant for me or not. That is probably the one factor that remains constant in this life, and it goes with almost everything you do, not only love. But we are focused on love right now lol. I mean if you don’t take that chance going in with the thought that you might get your heart broken, you kind of default to never taking any chances. Then you find yourself missing out on many things in the end. You could meet your soulmate, the one that is meant to be your person to grow old with. Or at the very least a valuable lesson that you needed to learn for your journey ahead. So, learn to take those chances. Learn to take those chances despite the little heart ache associated, because it is worth it in the end. Self-growth, self-improvement is always more valuable in the long run; for yourself.

What self-love looks like for me, everyone is different, but this works for me. So, go out there find what works for you, you got this my friends!

Self-love is something that you also need to give yourself grace with. It’s probably a lot harder to find the love within oneself but, it is in there and it is far more important than anything else. Loving oneself is knowing that despite any heart aches that may arise, you got yourself. Like you can carry your own heart when you find that the person you thought would help you carry it; and they decide to set it down instead. Knowing you can lean on yourself to carry you through anything. I follow a few people on social media that influenced the way I look at self-love. I am grateful to have found those accounts on Instagram, like @katelynn0009, @adam.roa, @tati_ballesteros, or @freespiritedlatina (all of these which I highly recommend!). There is actually quite a few out there to help you in your journey of self-love. A lot of the time, people think you need to be fully healed to find love outside from yourself. This is true to a certain extent in my opinion. You need to be healed or willing to heal as you go at the very least, coming into any relationship. Let me rephrase that, because you don’t really need to be healed per se. The fact is that you can still love someone regardless but, in my opinion, you need to be willing to grow and heal from your past just the same. So, finding that person that is open to grow alongside you is worth taking that risk. I always thought I needed to heal before I can even find love and yes, that is kind of true but like I mentioned earlier, you never know when love will come knocking at your door. Sometimes you need to answer the door, even when you feel like you aren’t all that ready for it. You just have to find grace in yourself when you hit those walls. Finding love within you, even when you find love outside, will carry you on past any relationship that comes. Because you know yourself and your worth, so you know the kind of love you want in your life. Truth be told though, it doesn’t mean the risk of heart ache is any less. I mean there is what? 7-8 billion people on this planet? You are going to meet different people along the way towards finding that one that is meant for you. So, keep the faith in yourself and continue on your path. Love will come when it’s meant to.

The Journey to You...

To the girl of my dreams.
I write this poem for you to read.
I don't know when that will be.
But it's here for you to see.

You are the muse that elevates my hopes.
The one that inspires me when life is hard to cope.
You've said that you admire how I accept you, truth is I absolutely do!
All your quirks, your past, your hopes and all of your dreams, I hope they will come true.

There's just something about you that genuinely speaks to me.
Magnified by your grace, in the simple smile you gave.
When you say my name in its proper space, melts me to my knees.
And fills my heart with glee.

So, I'll take those steps forward, with your hand in mine.
And never change a single rhyme.
Knowing you were there at the end this whole time.
I'll relive the heart ache and bear the pain of my past life.
With a blissful smile.

Just knowing you'll be there at the end with me.
Makes it all worthwhile...

To all who read this, may you find your own journey to someone who makes it all worthwhile...